The One That Got Away

**i saw this blog from facebook.. a friend posted it.
after reading this, a tear fell.

I don't know why a tear..
what's with the article? nah.. plain text.. it's nice though..
and it's reality. it's struck me deep.

Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal


In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flash point of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder,what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone,

"Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

If Only

"I would give up everything for one moment just to be with you;
for one moment is better than a lifetime without you.."


>angel in disguise<

"I have to tell you this and you need to hear it. I loved you since I met you, but I wouldn't allow myself to truly feel it until today. I was always thinking ahead, making decisions soaked with fear... Today, because of you... what I learned from you; every choice I made was different and my life has completely changed... and I've learned that if you do that, then you're living your life fully... it doesn't matter if you have five minutes or fifty years. Samantha if not for today, if not for you I would never have known love at all... So thank you for being the person who taught me to love... and to be love."

-Ian Wyndham, (If Only, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Paul Nicholls)

If only you can hear me I'd let you know, how I miss you so


Forgive me, I was blind to see I was a fool to ever let you go


Believe in me, I want you to know
That I have realized with no one else I'd rather be


But then I know that you have Found yourself somebody new


Hope I could find you in another place and time
I've proven it's true, I'm still in love with you


Every night, I've been dreaming about the time when you were mine
The memories, I will be keeping


Oh I was so wrong to let our chance go by..
So listen now, I never will deny that I have realized with no one else I'd rather be


But then I know that you have
Found yourself somebody new


Hope I could find you in another place and time
I've proven it's true, I'm still in love with you



If only, you can hear me I'd let you know,
oh how I miss you so



Believe in me, I want you to know
That I have realized with no one else I'd rather be



But then I know that you have
Found yourself somebody new



Hope I could find you in another place and time




I've proven it's true






I'm still in love with you..

Triggered by the Old Cam Pix

I was cleaning my laptop files when i saw a folder, an untitled folder, mixed with some other old school documents. Curious as I am what was in it, I opened the folder and found old pictures taken about more than three years ago. These were from my old camera phone, i hushed. The pictures were blurry then (hah!) and the colors are not so vivid, reminds me of my first VGA camera phone.. (how I remembered how happy i was having it!) That was the best shot that time, i could still recall. Whew, I forgot about this! The first picture was me with my hair uncomb.. I laughed, is this how i looked like before?! Oh, heavens! How I've changed.. The second picture was me and my best friend, at school. We were all smiles.. hmm.. Oh sure, taking pictures during class hours! hah! I miss those times! hmm.. this is so funny! Then comes more pictures of me and my friends and some taken with my niece and some pictures of me alone.. (vanity is me!) How could I forget this duh?! i wondered.. Oh yeah..

Then comes the next scene.
I stopped. Stared.

For a moment, my heart skipped a beat.

It was taken in the living room.. There was this guy, and his hair was longer then, winking on the picture.. and a girl, wearing a big shirt giving out a tongue on the picture.. They were both smiling, such big smiles.. And you could see it in there eyes, they were happy together. And i know, WAS so deeply inlove with each other.

"hey girl, wake up.. reality check! buzzzzz......"


oh, yeah where was i again?!..


Time has passed, so fast.. with so many changes.. We all looked different now, feel differently now.. Everything left are just memories of what it has been. And memories that will never happen again..

But why am I still on that past? Why is it still so hard for me to live in my present?!
I've been telling everyone I am ok, but am i?!
Can I atleast pretend i'm happy?! nah.. that I'd be fooling myself again..


haizt,

I wish there was some kind of time limit on emotions noh.. sort of like in school, wherein there's a bell that would ring at the beginnings and endings of every subject..

Maybe that way, i'd know when to stop feeling sad..
Perhaps that way, i'd know when to stop hoping and failing and hoping still..

and who knows that way, i could have kept my heart from being broken..


but then again, it's just a wish.. so.. munaxa =,(



gggrrr... I shouldn't have opened that folder!

GOD Will Take Care of You >as what HE did to me.. =)

Despite all the pains and trials I am going through this tough moments of my life,
God never leave my side..
Not once, not ever.
He is here with me and for me, always.
He is on every smile, comfort and care I receive from the ANGELs he sent me.
Angels who never left me, too.


He sent me angels, yes.. lots of them.
Some makes me laugh,
Some gives me a pat on the shoulder.
Some assures me everything's gonna be alright.
Some helps me walk and sit.
Some brings me food for my snacks.
Some provides me medicines to make me feel better.
Some wipes away my tears.
Some listens to my story.
Some tells me their story.
Some advices me better ideas.
Some teaches me to be strong.
Some pushes me to courage and determination.
Some holds my hand and gives me a hug.
Some looks at me and makes me feel warm.
Some keeps quiet, giving me the silence i need.
And I know all of them will leave me happy memories.
Memories that will forever be a part of my heart.


That's my GOD. That is how HE loves me.
He always stays here in my heart. forever.


^This is for you.
This is made especially for those who unconditionally care and love me despite the real me..
Thank you for being one of my God-sent angels.

>gEr<

May your troubled heart find peace and comfort in the knowledge that
YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.
May God's presence ease your trembling spirit and give you rest.
He knows how you feel.
He is ever aware of your circumstances.
He is always ready to be your strength, your grace and your peace.
He is there to cast sunlight into all your darkened shadows.
He is there to send encouragement through the love of your family and friends.
He is there to replace your weariness with new hope.

GOD is your stronghold.
With Him as your guide, you need never be afraid.
No circumstances can block His love.
No grief is too hard for Him to bear.
No task is too difficult for Him to complete.
When what you are feeling is simply too deep for words
And nothing nor anyone does or says can provide you with the relief you need,
GOD understands.

He is your provider -
today, tomorrow.. and always.
And HE LOVES YOU.

Cast all your cares on HIM.
--- and believe.



>>angeL_in_disguise<<

M~A-T_U*R>I^T`Y

"You are so immature!"
--We usually hear people say that.. or perhaps only me..
I usually hear them comment like that to me! haha


I really don't know what being mature is like.


But I think it's when you grow up enough to finally be able to joke about the things that once broke your heart. That would be tough, I guess. Perhaps too, that would be the time when we can talk about that heartbreaking memory without tears in our hearts but pure smiles on our faces.


I know one day, I'd be strong enough to face all these pains in my heart without bitterness left.
I'm not bitter about this though (lol) but it's so hard for me to talk about it to my friends and to those who knows our story without a sting on my throat or without an unguarded tear to fall in my eyes. Every time I talk about it, it's like my heart is being crushed and it gets harder to breathe.


I know one day, I could face him again without hesitation. Honestly, I don't want to see him now. It's not that I am hating him because I don't. Nor I'm scared or I'm shy, there is nothing to be scared of! I don't want to see him yet, not now while I am still fixing myself. I'm quite sure I'd be too weak if I see him now, haha I want the next time I see him, I can face him squarely and fairly and with big smiles too. Like two old friends do.


I guess maturity is also about realizing that you are perfectly happy even without the things you thought you needed the most.

A Blog from My Ghurl, Myang ='(

Jlyn and Her Struggle

This is a note posted by one of my best ghurlfriends, Myang, on her facebook account. She said she made it for me. >just see the title =)<>

“Love is a disease no one wants to get rid of.
Those who catch it never try to get better and
those who suffer do not wish to be cured.”
-The Zahir by Paulo Coelho

Many have tried to explain what love is, how it came to be, why we feel it or if it is truly a feeling or just an imagination, the different aspects of it – scientific, emotional and spiritual. But over the years I believe nobody has successfully fathomed its deepest logic -- and I have no intention of doing so. Love is as perplexing as tiny threads majorly entwined that you lose your patience to untangle it, so you resolve to the stopgap of cutting it. Ask a child to define love and he might tell you that love is when his parents would invite him to sleep in between them. For a teenager, love is the perfect scene of the most handsome guy handing out a bud of rose to a girl and saying the most wonderful words that would definitely put stars and glitters on her eyes. For a married couple, love would probably be going home at night, having dinner with the whole family, spending that rare time to bond with each other and make up for the days and hours when they were too busy with some other things. To sum it all, we would identify love as the most genuine bliss in our lives.

But despite all the happy feelings, there is definitely one fixation that everybody seems to overlook when they envisage love. How can people discount the path to utmost paradise? As much as we concur that love is joy, it also brings about pain -- heartaches. How we handle these undesirable feelings could either make or break us.

For individuals searching for their better halves, the search might take years of hazy experiences. A person may get involved with someone whom she never expected would make her feel that an angel is just beside her. Their relationship could face surging challenges – family feud, non acceptance or different career opportunities. But for years they would hang on to that relationship, dreaming, hoping that at the end they would still have each other’s angel. Then one major blow hits them – an ordeal that drains their strength and that in spite of the burning passion for each other, one of them gives up. He moves on while she finds her vigor. Then both would realize that the course of healing is not as simple as taking the strongest pill to ease the ache. Getting over won’t be easy because for years they have done so much together and the break up has changed everything. No more good morning greetings, no more long night talks, and when they see places or get hold of things all they do is recall the happy memories and wonder if that would ever happen again.

In the halo of such unbearable throbbing, we often fail to remember that nobody could help us but ourselves. We can call all our friends, tell them our story, share our heart out but after hours of having that conversation we’d feel that nobody understood us. We’d think that our friends couldn’t get an allusion of how much pain we are into. Then we become deaf from all the advice, we reject the comfortable words, we become pessimistic, we cling to the slightest hope that one day, the challenged relationship would fix itself – and then again we drown in our tears feeling more helpless. Healing may take months or even years and it is excruciating.

We all go through this twinge and yet we never give up on love. We live each day in search for it, setting aside its fatal path. And why is this?—because we definitely know that even in the verge of pain we have a choice to either succumb to that soreness and totally lose ourselves or to conquer the agony and find ourselves through it -- but most of all because we know that the end point of such journey is euphoria. And when we are standing on it, everything is worth the pain and the tears. We won’t be strong if we reject to face the challenge, we won’t appreciate the essence of genuine happiness if we do not experience sadness. This is probably the reason why when we are asked to paint a picture of love, we would definitely illustrate blissful scenery because no misery could contest the joy we feel when we experience authentic love.

So for those who are still struggling with pain, live one day at a time – bear in mind that there is a time to divulge yourself in pain and comprehend it but know when to lift up before it’s too late for you to realize that you’ve drowned yourself to nothingness. For those who are still in search of love, do not lose your patience – believe that he is just there, do not rush yourself because you might spoil what God has prepared for you. And for all those in love celebrate it – you deserve what you’ve come to grasp and remember to keep hold of that love because treasuring it may be as challenging as finding it.

Back to Blog >.<

>this blog is drafted March 29 and poster June 29.<


WOW! It's been a long time now.. say, what?! almost 3months?!! i


have been so very busy lately I couldn't find time to write.. hmm so sad.. =(
Oh and I've missed you.. and reading back all those articles i published make me say, I've changed.. a little bit. hahahah atleast, for the glory of man!


Now I appreciate the times I couldn't get myself to sleep, that's when I could visit my blog.. hahah But hey, i tried though, especially at times I get a little emotional and somehow "dramatic".. LoL (that's not the right word but i couldn't think of any more suitable description) I've got so many drafts at the office and here at home.. and ALL of them, unfinished and hanging and "forgotten"! There are those times when I'm super full of words that I couldn't write everything on my mind.. words just come out so fast.. then I get to open my notepad and write whatever is there that pops out. then not an hour after that, with just a little distraction would make me lost and then comes the "ei, I'll better finish this later.." >the attitude! LoL and that's the end of it.. Those were just my thoughts as of that moment, you know..

And usually those are the thoughts I've been avoiding to think about.. **,

But now no more..

>>now comes the new chapter of my life<<..



at 23.

One Step Forward

24th of March.

-our day.
-was once our day.

It was the 3rd Friday of the month of March.

I used to attend mass at Sto. Nino Church every Fridays of the week. Thereso, it was after my class and I was with him and he decided to attend the mass with me. However, it was already late in the afternoon and going there would cost time and more, it would be very crowded at this time of the day. I felt bad that I might not be on time for the mass and so he suggested that instead of going to Sto. Nino, we'll go to The Lady of Mount Carmel Church (known also as the Carmelites Church). I, haven't been there, excitedly agreed. And so we went to Mabolo and there, attend Mass at Carmelites. After the Mass and after saying our prayers, he brought me infront of the image of Mama Mary and he said, "Mama, this is Jlyn. The one I told you about." He hold my hand and he said "Baby, this is my Mama Mary." (We used to call each other "Baby" even before we got together. We were friends and used to teasing each other that name. There is another story for that one. haha) It was a very awkward and nice and sweet and all i feel was blood running to my face and next I knew, I was really blushing. I don't know what to say and I don't know what he is up to. It was an image of Mama Mary and we are in the church and I know for sure some people had heard it or were listening to us! (paranoid! hahaha) I was speechless but yes, I was so kilig that time. I asked him why he did that. And he said, "I told her about you. About Us. And I told her how much I like you. But I am not sure if you like me too. I prayed all the time to her. And she listens to me all the time too. And I asked her that if you are the girl for me, she'll give me a sign." Weird, I thought. "A sign?" I asked. He replied, "yes, a sign. A sign that if you come with me here, in her home, you are the girl for me. That she is happy for us. It sounds impossible at first but yes, it happened. You are here with me now, in front of her. So you're my girlfriend now." He was smiling, and I know he was very happy. I was, too. And that was the start of it all.

That happened today, 3 years ago.

Honestly, we're not on that "will you be my girlfriend-yes, i do" show! Too opposite from what I expect my first relationship would be. haha But then, that was it. That was the start of a story which lasted for three long years. Three years of happiness and joy and love.

Looking back, so many things happened. So many changes took place. But I never regret anything and everything that happened to us. I was so happy, really happy with him. We both love each other, I hold that true. Though no one understands, I know in our hearts, we will always be there for each other. And yes, this is all part of the past now.

Though I am still hurting, and in deep pain, I know and I believe all this happens for a reason.
Though I may not see it clearly now, I know my GOD has a purpose for me.
Though every night I still cry, I know one day these tears will all turn to smiles.
Though my heart is still bleeding, I know one day it will heal.


Just one day at a time, jLyn, and everything will be ok.

getting used to getting lost

I don't know how to start this blog. I'm not in the mood of writing one but I just badly need someone to listen to me talk and pour this out.. someone, it should be. but no one was there, not anymore. that's why i'm so grateful to that person who first thought of making and inventing a blog. >w*nx<

This day is one of those disheveled episodes I always got myself into. As we usually hear it, woke up on the wrong side of the bed. But lately, I wonder? Where is the Right side of my bed? Why is it that I always wake up weary and torn? Why is it that I always start my day crying from a bad dream? It's been months now, and is this the right side of my bed? Am I meant to cry every time I wake up? Perhaps, when time comes and I wake up jovial, it would then scare me..

I got up early to at least, change my mood to a brighter one. I used to do that before, when I was young and at those times, I control my emotions fully. I was able to manipulate how I'd feel and how I'd respond to circumstances. I know how to keep myself from showing what is really inside. I know exactly how to shift moods to make me feel better. I was an expert. No one can affect me. But where is the power now? Where was that manipulative jLyn to herself? I can't even stop myself from getting upset at such petty comments and lil things. I get so irate and I am easily disappointed at everything.. especially myself. I can't even control my tears from dropping now. Because every time I do, my throat seems to shrink and I can't breathe. And once it starts to fall, those tears just won't stop until my eyes sore and until there is nothing more to shed.

My day end up with a mess. I got problems with my work load, my efficiency was rather questioned and i got hold of the scolds and the stares of those that in one way or the other, bitter too with themselves. (wwooaah??!!!) I have been through worst scenarios than this before. And I've made it through with chin up high. But now it was far too different. Far too depressing and frustrating. It's like a first time to me. Now it seems that I could never make it happen. I feel so helpless and I don't want to end up hating myself for being so useless and so lame. I feel so lost in a world I'm used on living.

It was time for me to go home and so I waited for my taxi to come. So many thought come running my mind, so many "what-ifs" and "could have beens". As I get out of the building, a tear fell down as I told myself, "jLyn, it's gonna be a better day tomorrow." I tried to cheer my self up, convincing that I can still make it better tomorrow. But every time I do, I feel more lost and I seem not to know myself anymore. Because the more I try to push that conviction that "I AM OK, I AM FINE.. I AM HAPPY," I know deep down it's a lie I could never make myself believe.

And I wonder why, I wonder why I seem not to know myself anymore and why I can't even make something good or something worth appreciating. Perhaps it was because BEFORE,
Every time I get depressed with work, I know that after I got out of the office door, there is someone waiting for me to cheer me up and make me feel better.
Every time I feel bad with myself, I know that there is that someone who believes in me more that I have faith in myself.
Every time I cry, that someone not just wipe away my tears, but also cries with me, and that there is that someone who backs me up whenever I make a stand for myself.
And every time I got sour with life, there is that someone who makes everything sweet and lovely.

But that someone isn't here anymore..
He is gone now.
And no one is there to comfort me but myself.
No one to run to when I'm miserable but myself. Alone.

Maybe that's where I did it wrong, I rely myself so much believing that there is someone who's always there for me. Not thinking right that in this world of passersby, each of us are just passing by.

Maybe it's true, I'm so lost now.
So lost in the world I got to use and live.
But I believe I'll get used to getting lost and I know somewhere along the way of finding my right path, I'd be able to collect those broken pieces to make me whole once again..

Rain Pours

It's suppose to be summer time now.

But the rain's pouring so hard.
And so are these eyes..

I used to love the rain, it made me blissful every time it pours. Though it got me stranded at so many times and had my dress dirty by couple of it, it made my day marvelous and it made me feel complete... then.


Yet now, that feeling was somehow lost.. and forgotten.
The once perfect sensation is now but full of broken memories.
It feels rather but emptiness and tears slowly fall as raindrops starts tinkling my window panes..

Better in Time

Lyrics | Leona Lewis lyrics - Better In Time lyrics

When You FALL IN LOVE

This article isn't for teenagers only.
Falling in love happens to the young and the not-so-young. It happens to everyone.

Fat, thin, tall, short, intelligent, uneducated, holy, not so holy, dark, white, yellow, green..

it doesn't really matter.

All of us fall in love.

And we get stuck in myths that drive us absolutely crazy.
My goal is to debunk these myths and convince you not to believe in them.

Let's begin.

Debunking the Myths That Are Driving You Crazy

By: Bo Sanchez

MYTH 1: LOVE WILL CONQUER ALL

Let me qualify.

This is such a tricky myth. Because love will conquer all.

But love ------ as defined by glazed-eyed lovers ----- will not.

If you believe in this myth, you might do the following:

You overlook major obstacles in your relationship.

Everyone you know is wondering why you chose that creature from outer space as your boyfriend. Your best friends are telling you to get rid of him. Your family is telling you to throw him out of a running vehicle. Aling Rosa of the sari-sari store across the street is telling you to lace his drink with poison.

But you won't --------- because you're in love.

That's why there are songs entitled, "you and me against the world"


Your best buds comment, 'but he's been jobless for the past three years!"
And you say, "He's free-spirited. He feels boxed in when he's in the office. '

(in other words, he's undisciplined, lazy bum.)

Your officemates say, 'He flirts with other women constantly!'

and you say, 'No, he's just friendly.' (in other words, he's a pervert)

Your cousins say, 'He's taking drugs, He's got needle marks all over his arm.

And you say, 'No, he's into cross stitching.'

You overstay in toxic relationships, believing that your love will change him.

The wedding doesn't transform anyone. Even if three Popes officiate the wedding.

The person you'll march with into the church will be the same person you'll march with out of the church. He doesn't change one bit.

In fact, the marriage makes the hidden more obvious.

If he was selfish before he got married, he will be even more selfish after the wedding. If he was hypercritical before he got married, he'll even be more vile and prolific with his criticisms after wedding.

Here's the truth : You need more than feelings of love to make a relationship work. You need mature character, total commitment and a minimum level of compatibility.

Especially compatibility in the area of values and mission in life. I hear people say, 'We're compatible. Our names begin with the same letter J. My name is Julie and his name is Julio. We're both born in July."Wow. That's so deep, I want to cry.

MYTH 2 : WHEN IT"S TRUE LOVE YOU WILL KNOW THE MOMENT YOU MEET THE OTHER PERSON





I'm sure you've had this experience before.

You are in a crowded room. You're surrounded by boring, noisy chatter when, suddenly, this gorgeous guy enters the door.
Your eyes meet.
Instantly, time stands still. The universe grinds to a halt. Except for this attractive man in front of you, everything in your vision becomes a giant blur. The hubbub of the crowd becomes a soft muffle and, from out of nowhere, you here gentle violin music from the background.


One week later, he's your boyfriend.
A few weeks later, you discover that your boyfriend's a pathological liar, buried in credit card debt, borrows money from all his girlfriends (you're his eight in six months).
Your mind says, 'Dump him'
Your heart says, 'But it was love at first sight!'


Here are the consequences ...
You become so focused on the magical first moment, you become blind to the dark side of the relationship. Six out of seven days, you're fighting with your boyfriend. But you can't give him up because you met each other in such a magical moment.


Your car keys fell and he picked it up, and then your eyes met, you smelled his deodorant, and you dropped your keys again ... How can you not be meant for each other?

You become a love-at-first- sight junkie that you could miss out on the 'real thing'.


One intelligent woman told me, 'Bo, there's this guy who's courting me. He's okay. He's kind, he's responsible, he has a good job.......'
"I could hear a 'but' coming ," I said.
'but there are no sparks!" she bit her lip.
"No violin music playing in the background huh"
"none. When I see him, the background music I hear is lululalu-lalulalula lei..."
"listen. You don't need a magical first moment to meet our potential husband. The important things are mature character, financial responsibility, ability for commitment, compatible mission and values..."

I actually met this girl again on her wedding, and before she marched down the aisle, she whispered to me, "Do you hear the violin music, Bo? It's loud and clear."

It doesn't have to be love at first sight.

In fact, marriages with the least adjustments are those between friends who've known each other for years before they realize that they're good marriage material.



What is love at first sight?
Many times, it's lust at first sight. Or infatuation at first sight.
Don't give it too much weight.


Here's the truth:
It takes a moment to experience infatuation but true love takes a lifetime.




MYTH 3 : IF IT IS TRUE LOVE YOU WILL FEEL THIS WAY FOR EACH OTHER FOREVER


No, you won't!



Here are the consequences for believing this myth :


You panic when the feelings wane, and wonder whether the marriage is over and whether you really loved one another in the first place.

Imagine the night of your honeymoon.
Your new bride is sleeping. The cotton curtains are gently swaying in the cool breeze. You gaze at her lovely face. You study her soft cheeks. Her long eyelashes. Her beautiful nose, her parted red lips.

And all of a sudden, she snores.
"Ngggggggooork"

How do you react?
Because it's your honeymoon, you say, 'How cute.'

Six months down the road, the same scene transpires. Your wife is sleeping. And the same cotton curtains are gently swaying in the cool breeze.
And you hear her snore.
"Ngggggoork. "

What do you say?
"Ssssssheeeesh, Honey! You sound like a boat!'



What has happened? The feelings have gone.


Let me say this: 'That's normal. It happens to everyone. But it doesn't mean your love is gone so don't panic!


You can make a decision to love the snoring boat.
You start blaming your partner for the loss of love
This is nutty.

But many people do it: when we don't feel in love, we think it's the fault of the other person.

And so we fight him.


Again, we fall out of love because we're human beings.


It's nobody's fault.

The moment you fall out of love, the real work begins .



Let me explain.
This is the most important point I'm going to make.
(I got this from Scott Peck in his bestseller book, The Road Less traveled)


Falling in love isn't love.



Here's why. When you fall in love.....
a. No decision is required. Falling in love just happens.
b. No effort is required. Falling in love is like.... Well, falling.
c. No hard work is required. Falling in love is being bitten by the love bug.


On the other hand, true love requires all three : Decision, effort and lots of hard work.
In the Bible, love is a command. You make it happen.
Sure true love can only happen after you've fallen out of love. – this is interesting…
When you begin choosing to love, even if you don't feel like doing it ---- that's true love. And that's the foundation of a lasting marriage.





MYTH 4: YOUR PARTNER WILL FULFILL YOU COMPLETELY


Again because falling in love satisfied you completely ----- you want the same satisfaction to last. No it won't.



Consequence?

You might fail to recognize a good relationship because your partner isn't fulfilling the needs you should be fulfilling yourself.


Here's the truth: the right partner will fulfill many of your needs but not all of them .


There are just some things your husband can't give you: you're self-worth. Your spirituality. Your inner happiness. These are things you have to work on your own.

I've met lots of people who think they're dissatisfied with their marriage. In reality, they're dissatisfied with themselves.

I've met lots of people who think they're bored with their marriages. And they complain to the high heavens how boring their husband or wife is ---- when in truth, they're really bored with life.

Meet your own needs. Find your happiness in God. Find your niche, your calling, your destiny. And then share your joy with your spouse.




MYTH 5: IF IT'S TRUE LOVE YOU WON'T BE ATTRACTED TO ANYONE ELSE



If you believe in this myth, you panic when you get attracted to someone else, questioning the authenticity of your love for your spouse.

One man told me, 'Bo, I love my wife. Or I thought I did. But then I met this woman at work. She has nice make-up. She smells nice. She wears a pencil-cut skirt. When I go home, my wife is wearing a drab rag. Her hair is undone. She smells of vinegar. Gosh I am attracted to this girl at work."
Being attracted to someone is normal ----- even if you have a happy marriage. But being attracted doesn't mean falling into adultery.

Every time you think of the other woman, discipline your heart and say, 'Home, boy, Home!' and escort your heart back to your wife.

Because if you feed your attraction with fantasies and constantly think about the other woman, it grows. But if you starve your attraction, it dies a natural death.





>>nice one, Bo!

Love can give you ULCER!!

1st day of March

I watched the movie "You Changed My Life".

I have a friend who really pushed me to watch this, she said I have to see the movie.

And so I did.

It was the story of a couple (Miggy, characterized by John Lloyd Cruz and Ladia, by Sarah Geronimo) who's so in love with each other yet their careers are leading to different paths and their relationship suffers from the pressures of being apart.

The movie follows the romance between the rich boss Miggy Montenegro and the middle-class employee Laida Magtalas. (This is actually a sequel of the movie "Very Special Love".. hmp, see? fans kau ku noh!? hihih) This time around, Laida and Miggy now savor the sweet moments as a couple. But as time goes by, their love is put to further tests brought about by the differences of their worlds. They both later realize that a commitment is not at all a bed of roses but a road filled with lots of sacrifices. Laida tries her best to make the time for their relationship, while Miggy finds himself caught between his ambition and his personal happiness. During her lonesome times, Laida seeks comfort from high school sweetheart Macoy. On the other hand, Miggy meets Cristina who reminds him that once you make the choice, there will be no turning back.

Though it was a good one, and yes, I'm a super John Lloyd fan (go laugh at me!!)

personally I don't like it..

Why!?

Because it simply reminds me of what I was (yes, WAS.).

And what we were.

Yes, we were happy.

Yes, we both loved each other.

And yes, it was over.

And It hit me hard.

Because I saw myself in that girl's dreams and that girl's passion and love.

I saw it in her eyes, those that glitters everytime he is around..
the way she gets excited everytime he calls her and every time they see each other,
the way she expects things, the way she believe his promises.
the way she tries to convince herself that he loves her too,
the way she blushes everytime she hears him say "iLoveyou"..
the way she understands him everytime he fails to keep his promises..
the way she adjusts to everything, eventhough she know it isn't right anymore..
the way she gets disappointed because he can't come to fetch her..
the way she waits for him to call..
the way she cries just to keep herself sane..
the way she hates him for everything he has done..
and most of all, the way she still loves him, despite and inspite it all!

That was me, that was the jLyn I was trying so hard to changed and to hide.

Not because I don't like myself then, but because no matter what I do, HE is gone.

And yes, HE made a choice.

And I know, there is no turning back.

what if you never got the chance?!

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?,

or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.

Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.

If you do, they might break your heart

If you don't, you might break theirs.

Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of
losing what you already had with that person?

Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.

You can't tell your heart what to do.

It does it on its own..

when you least suspect it,

or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had,

but that other person was too afraid to let you?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much..

for fear that the other person does not care as much,

or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of
rejection was too hard to handle?

We tell lies when we are afraid..

afraid of what we don't know,

afraid of what others will think,



afraid of what will be






found out about us.

But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

Don't be a person who has to look back

and wonder what they would have done,

or could have had.

* What would you do if every time you fell in love,

you had to say good-bye?

*What would you do if every time you wanted someone

they would never be there?

*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow

and you never got to tell them how you felt?

*What would you do if you loved someone
more than ever and you couldn't have them?

*What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with
all of my family?

*What would you do if you never got the chance to hug and kiss them?

nor let them know how much you love them?*

A Post-Valentines Post

LIFE ON LOVE

By Rico Deniega

..wondering who's rico!?

Actually, I read this blog from my friend rico's account at multiply.com. I just fell in love reading it. Asked him I'd post this in my blog too, though he hadn't given me his permission yet, taaddaaanng!!!Thanks Rico for sharing this with me.. hihih

A post-valentine blog actually, but it's worth it.

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some loves grow and it is a mystery why some loves fail. You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do any more than take the life out of the experience.

Love is more than the some of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its time, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Too often, when love comes to people, they try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift and a gift that just as freely moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they feel love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong with them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small thing were different love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances. They blame each other. They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself and until they accept its own mysterious ways they live in a sea of misery.

You need to treat what love brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn’t choose to rest in the other person’s heart.

If you find someone else in love with you toward whom you feel no love, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how love will deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are very different.

If you fall in love with another who falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know it in time, but time itself will choose the moment.

Remember this and keep it in your hearts. You don’t choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it and all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it to you. Give it to others who seem poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

Love has its own time, its own seasons for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it or reason it into staying. If it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your love, there is nothing you can do and nothing you should do. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. If you keep your heart open, it will surely come again…