A Blog from My Ghurl, Myang ='(

Jlyn and Her Struggle

This is a note posted by one of my best ghurlfriends, Myang, on her facebook account. She said she made it for me. >just see the title =)<>

“Love is a disease no one wants to get rid of.
Those who catch it never try to get better and
those who suffer do not wish to be cured.”
-The Zahir by Paulo Coelho

Many have tried to explain what love is, how it came to be, why we feel it or if it is truly a feeling or just an imagination, the different aspects of it – scientific, emotional and spiritual. But over the years I believe nobody has successfully fathomed its deepest logic -- and I have no intention of doing so. Love is as perplexing as tiny threads majorly entwined that you lose your patience to untangle it, so you resolve to the stopgap of cutting it. Ask a child to define love and he might tell you that love is when his parents would invite him to sleep in between them. For a teenager, love is the perfect scene of the most handsome guy handing out a bud of rose to a girl and saying the most wonderful words that would definitely put stars and glitters on her eyes. For a married couple, love would probably be going home at night, having dinner with the whole family, spending that rare time to bond with each other and make up for the days and hours when they were too busy with some other things. To sum it all, we would identify love as the most genuine bliss in our lives.

But despite all the happy feelings, there is definitely one fixation that everybody seems to overlook when they envisage love. How can people discount the path to utmost paradise? As much as we concur that love is joy, it also brings about pain -- heartaches. How we handle these undesirable feelings could either make or break us.

For individuals searching for their better halves, the search might take years of hazy experiences. A person may get involved with someone whom she never expected would make her feel that an angel is just beside her. Their relationship could face surging challenges – family feud, non acceptance or different career opportunities. But for years they would hang on to that relationship, dreaming, hoping that at the end they would still have each other’s angel. Then one major blow hits them – an ordeal that drains their strength and that in spite of the burning passion for each other, one of them gives up. He moves on while she finds her vigor. Then both would realize that the course of healing is not as simple as taking the strongest pill to ease the ache. Getting over won’t be easy because for years they have done so much together and the break up has changed everything. No more good morning greetings, no more long night talks, and when they see places or get hold of things all they do is recall the happy memories and wonder if that would ever happen again.

In the halo of such unbearable throbbing, we often fail to remember that nobody could help us but ourselves. We can call all our friends, tell them our story, share our heart out but after hours of having that conversation we’d feel that nobody understood us. We’d think that our friends couldn’t get an allusion of how much pain we are into. Then we become deaf from all the advice, we reject the comfortable words, we become pessimistic, we cling to the slightest hope that one day, the challenged relationship would fix itself – and then again we drown in our tears feeling more helpless. Healing may take months or even years and it is excruciating.

We all go through this twinge and yet we never give up on love. We live each day in search for it, setting aside its fatal path. And why is this?—because we definitely know that even in the verge of pain we have a choice to either succumb to that soreness and totally lose ourselves or to conquer the agony and find ourselves through it -- but most of all because we know that the end point of such journey is euphoria. And when we are standing on it, everything is worth the pain and the tears. We won’t be strong if we reject to face the challenge, we won’t appreciate the essence of genuine happiness if we do not experience sadness. This is probably the reason why when we are asked to paint a picture of love, we would definitely illustrate blissful scenery because no misery could contest the joy we feel when we experience authentic love.

So for those who are still struggling with pain, live one day at a time – bear in mind that there is a time to divulge yourself in pain and comprehend it but know when to lift up before it’s too late for you to realize that you’ve drowned yourself to nothingness. For those who are still in search of love, do not lose your patience – believe that he is just there, do not rush yourself because you might spoil what God has prepared for you. And for all those in love celebrate it – you deserve what you’ve come to grasp and remember to keep hold of that love because treasuring it may be as challenging as finding it.