it's 3.11am already and I'm still so wide awake.. yes, I'm so tired from today's activities, body's aching already and mind needs to rest too.. but lo' here i am.. in front of my laptop, once again and pressing the keys.. and trying hard to tire my eyes.. had read a book and finished it.. had watched Prison Break Season 4 and is done with it..
but see oh see!?
i can still do cha cha at all.. so live and kicking..
as if I've been sleeping the whole day..
lately these past weeks, sleep's been avoiding me.. there was even a time I'd close my eyes, shut if off and pretend to be sleepy.. had turned around in every corner of the bed, had hugged every pillow at sight and every teddy bear on each side.. but these eyes are just as stubborn as its owner.. I've done the "count-one-to-forty-to-be-sleepy" thang but yo' my eyes and my mind just keep on wondering and playing thoughts and images.. no use at all.
that's why at this godly hour, instead of pushing these lil eyes to close and end the day, i'm pondering on these kept thoughts and suppressed feelings that i've been avoiding to myself.. some things that i know will haunt my nights and days.. and even my dreams.
the main reason why my eyes refuses to rest is that every time i close it, there's that lil gurl whose smiles are wide though she's been stabbed at the back.. that lil gurl who walks on her feet but doesn't feel the ground.. that lil gurl who holds back every tear to fall, afraid some one might see her cry.. that lil gurl who is pretending to be strong, but is so weak indeed.
it still sees that same girl whose crying behind the curtains - with a shattered and broken heart.
..that lil gurl who lives her day hoping she's dead.
..that lil gurl,
..that lil gurl, is me.
but see oh see!?
i can still do cha cha at all.. so live and kicking..
as if I've been sleeping the whole day..
lately these past weeks, sleep's been avoiding me.. there was even a time I'd close my eyes, shut if off and pretend to be sleepy.. had turned around in every corner of the bed, had hugged every pillow at sight and every teddy bear on each side.. but these eyes are just as stubborn as its owner.. I've done the "count-one-to-forty-to-be-sleepy" thang but yo' my eyes and my mind just keep on wondering and playing thoughts and images.. no use at all.
that's why at this godly hour, instead of pushing these lil eyes to close and end the day, i'm pondering on these kept thoughts and suppressed feelings that i've been avoiding to myself.. some things that i know will haunt my nights and days.. and even my dreams.
the main reason why my eyes refuses to rest is that every time i close it, there's that lil gurl whose smiles are wide though she's been stabbed at the back.. that lil gurl who walks on her feet but doesn't feel the ground.. that lil gurl who holds back every tear to fall, afraid some one might see her cry.. that lil gurl who is pretending to be strong, but is so weak indeed.
it still sees that same girl whose crying behind the curtains - with a shattered and broken heart.
..that lil gurl who lives her day hoping she's dead.
..that lil gurl,
..that lil gurl, is me.
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