The One That Got Away

**i saw this blog from facebook.. a friend posted it.
after reading this, a tear fell.

I don't know why a tear..
what's with the article? nah.. plain text.. it's nice though..
and it's reality. it's struck me deep.

Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal


In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flash point of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder,what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone,

"Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

If Only

"I would give up everything for one moment just to be with you;
for one moment is better than a lifetime without you.."


>angel in disguise<

"I have to tell you this and you need to hear it. I loved you since I met you, but I wouldn't allow myself to truly feel it until today. I was always thinking ahead, making decisions soaked with fear... Today, because of you... what I learned from you; every choice I made was different and my life has completely changed... and I've learned that if you do that, then you're living your life fully... it doesn't matter if you have five minutes or fifty years. Samantha if not for today, if not for you I would never have known love at all... So thank you for being the person who taught me to love... and to be love."

-Ian Wyndham, (If Only, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Paul Nicholls)

If only you can hear me I'd let you know, how I miss you so


Forgive me, I was blind to see I was a fool to ever let you go


Believe in me, I want you to know
That I have realized with no one else I'd rather be


But then I know that you have Found yourself somebody new


Hope I could find you in another place and time
I've proven it's true, I'm still in love with you


Every night, I've been dreaming about the time when you were mine
The memories, I will be keeping


Oh I was so wrong to let our chance go by..
So listen now, I never will deny that I have realized with no one else I'd rather be


But then I know that you have
Found yourself somebody new


Hope I could find you in another place and time
I've proven it's true, I'm still in love with you



If only, you can hear me I'd let you know,
oh how I miss you so



Believe in me, I want you to know
That I have realized with no one else I'd rather be



But then I know that you have
Found yourself somebody new



Hope I could find you in another place and time




I've proven it's true






I'm still in love with you..

Triggered by the Old Cam Pix

I was cleaning my laptop files when i saw a folder, an untitled folder, mixed with some other old school documents. Curious as I am what was in it, I opened the folder and found old pictures taken about more than three years ago. These were from my old camera phone, i hushed. The pictures were blurry then (hah!) and the colors are not so vivid, reminds me of my first VGA camera phone.. (how I remembered how happy i was having it!) That was the best shot that time, i could still recall. Whew, I forgot about this! The first picture was me with my hair uncomb.. I laughed, is this how i looked like before?! Oh, heavens! How I've changed.. The second picture was me and my best friend, at school. We were all smiles.. hmm.. Oh sure, taking pictures during class hours! hah! I miss those times! hmm.. this is so funny! Then comes more pictures of me and my friends and some taken with my niece and some pictures of me alone.. (vanity is me!) How could I forget this duh?! i wondered.. Oh yeah..

Then comes the next scene.
I stopped. Stared.

For a moment, my heart skipped a beat.

It was taken in the living room.. There was this guy, and his hair was longer then, winking on the picture.. and a girl, wearing a big shirt giving out a tongue on the picture.. They were both smiling, such big smiles.. And you could see it in there eyes, they were happy together. And i know, WAS so deeply inlove with each other.

"hey girl, wake up.. reality check! buzzzzz......"


oh, yeah where was i again?!..


Time has passed, so fast.. with so many changes.. We all looked different now, feel differently now.. Everything left are just memories of what it has been. And memories that will never happen again..

But why am I still on that past? Why is it still so hard for me to live in my present?!
I've been telling everyone I am ok, but am i?!
Can I atleast pretend i'm happy?! nah.. that I'd be fooling myself again..


haizt,

I wish there was some kind of time limit on emotions noh.. sort of like in school, wherein there's a bell that would ring at the beginnings and endings of every subject..

Maybe that way, i'd know when to stop feeling sad..
Perhaps that way, i'd know when to stop hoping and failing and hoping still..

and who knows that way, i could have kept my heart from being broken..


but then again, it's just a wish.. so.. munaxa =,(



gggrrr... I shouldn't have opened that folder!

GOD Will Take Care of You >as what HE did to me.. =)

Despite all the pains and trials I am going through this tough moments of my life,
God never leave my side..
Not once, not ever.
He is here with me and for me, always.
He is on every smile, comfort and care I receive from the ANGELs he sent me.
Angels who never left me, too.


He sent me angels, yes.. lots of them.
Some makes me laugh,
Some gives me a pat on the shoulder.
Some assures me everything's gonna be alright.
Some helps me walk and sit.
Some brings me food for my snacks.
Some provides me medicines to make me feel better.
Some wipes away my tears.
Some listens to my story.
Some tells me their story.
Some advices me better ideas.
Some teaches me to be strong.
Some pushes me to courage and determination.
Some holds my hand and gives me a hug.
Some looks at me and makes me feel warm.
Some keeps quiet, giving me the silence i need.
And I know all of them will leave me happy memories.
Memories that will forever be a part of my heart.


That's my GOD. That is how HE loves me.
He always stays here in my heart. forever.


^This is for you.
This is made especially for those who unconditionally care and love me despite the real me..
Thank you for being one of my God-sent angels.

>gEr<

May your troubled heart find peace and comfort in the knowledge that
YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.
May God's presence ease your trembling spirit and give you rest.
He knows how you feel.
He is ever aware of your circumstances.
He is always ready to be your strength, your grace and your peace.
He is there to cast sunlight into all your darkened shadows.
He is there to send encouragement through the love of your family and friends.
He is there to replace your weariness with new hope.

GOD is your stronghold.
With Him as your guide, you need never be afraid.
No circumstances can block His love.
No grief is too hard for Him to bear.
No task is too difficult for Him to complete.
When what you are feeling is simply too deep for words
And nothing nor anyone does or says can provide you with the relief you need,
GOD understands.

He is your provider -
today, tomorrow.. and always.
And HE LOVES YOU.

Cast all your cares on HIM.
--- and believe.



>>angeL_in_disguise<<

M~A-T_U*R>I^T`Y

"You are so immature!"
--We usually hear people say that.. or perhaps only me..
I usually hear them comment like that to me! haha


I really don't know what being mature is like.


But I think it's when you grow up enough to finally be able to joke about the things that once broke your heart. That would be tough, I guess. Perhaps too, that would be the time when we can talk about that heartbreaking memory without tears in our hearts but pure smiles on our faces.


I know one day, I'd be strong enough to face all these pains in my heart without bitterness left.
I'm not bitter about this though (lol) but it's so hard for me to talk about it to my friends and to those who knows our story without a sting on my throat or without an unguarded tear to fall in my eyes. Every time I talk about it, it's like my heart is being crushed and it gets harder to breathe.


I know one day, I could face him again without hesitation. Honestly, I don't want to see him now. It's not that I am hating him because I don't. Nor I'm scared or I'm shy, there is nothing to be scared of! I don't want to see him yet, not now while I am still fixing myself. I'm quite sure I'd be too weak if I see him now, haha I want the next time I see him, I can face him squarely and fairly and with big smiles too. Like two old friends do.


I guess maturity is also about realizing that you are perfectly happy even without the things you thought you needed the most.

A Blog from My Ghurl, Myang ='(

Jlyn and Her Struggle

This is a note posted by one of my best ghurlfriends, Myang, on her facebook account. She said she made it for me. >just see the title =)<>

“Love is a disease no one wants to get rid of.
Those who catch it never try to get better and
those who suffer do not wish to be cured.”
-The Zahir by Paulo Coelho

Many have tried to explain what love is, how it came to be, why we feel it or if it is truly a feeling or just an imagination, the different aspects of it – scientific, emotional and spiritual. But over the years I believe nobody has successfully fathomed its deepest logic -- and I have no intention of doing so. Love is as perplexing as tiny threads majorly entwined that you lose your patience to untangle it, so you resolve to the stopgap of cutting it. Ask a child to define love and he might tell you that love is when his parents would invite him to sleep in between them. For a teenager, love is the perfect scene of the most handsome guy handing out a bud of rose to a girl and saying the most wonderful words that would definitely put stars and glitters on her eyes. For a married couple, love would probably be going home at night, having dinner with the whole family, spending that rare time to bond with each other and make up for the days and hours when they were too busy with some other things. To sum it all, we would identify love as the most genuine bliss in our lives.

But despite all the happy feelings, there is definitely one fixation that everybody seems to overlook when they envisage love. How can people discount the path to utmost paradise? As much as we concur that love is joy, it also brings about pain -- heartaches. How we handle these undesirable feelings could either make or break us.

For individuals searching for their better halves, the search might take years of hazy experiences. A person may get involved with someone whom she never expected would make her feel that an angel is just beside her. Their relationship could face surging challenges – family feud, non acceptance or different career opportunities. But for years they would hang on to that relationship, dreaming, hoping that at the end they would still have each other’s angel. Then one major blow hits them – an ordeal that drains their strength and that in spite of the burning passion for each other, one of them gives up. He moves on while she finds her vigor. Then both would realize that the course of healing is not as simple as taking the strongest pill to ease the ache. Getting over won’t be easy because for years they have done so much together and the break up has changed everything. No more good morning greetings, no more long night talks, and when they see places or get hold of things all they do is recall the happy memories and wonder if that would ever happen again.

In the halo of such unbearable throbbing, we often fail to remember that nobody could help us but ourselves. We can call all our friends, tell them our story, share our heart out but after hours of having that conversation we’d feel that nobody understood us. We’d think that our friends couldn’t get an allusion of how much pain we are into. Then we become deaf from all the advice, we reject the comfortable words, we become pessimistic, we cling to the slightest hope that one day, the challenged relationship would fix itself – and then again we drown in our tears feeling more helpless. Healing may take months or even years and it is excruciating.

We all go through this twinge and yet we never give up on love. We live each day in search for it, setting aside its fatal path. And why is this?—because we definitely know that even in the verge of pain we have a choice to either succumb to that soreness and totally lose ourselves or to conquer the agony and find ourselves through it -- but most of all because we know that the end point of such journey is euphoria. And when we are standing on it, everything is worth the pain and the tears. We won’t be strong if we reject to face the challenge, we won’t appreciate the essence of genuine happiness if we do not experience sadness. This is probably the reason why when we are asked to paint a picture of love, we would definitely illustrate blissful scenery because no misery could contest the joy we feel when we experience authentic love.

So for those who are still struggling with pain, live one day at a time – bear in mind that there is a time to divulge yourself in pain and comprehend it but know when to lift up before it’s too late for you to realize that you’ve drowned yourself to nothingness. For those who are still in search of love, do not lose your patience – believe that he is just there, do not rush yourself because you might spoil what God has prepared for you. And for all those in love celebrate it – you deserve what you’ve come to grasp and remember to keep hold of that love because treasuring it may be as challenging as finding it.

Back to Blog >.<

>this blog is drafted March 29 and poster June 29.<


WOW! It's been a long time now.. say, what?! almost 3months?!! i


have been so very busy lately I couldn't find time to write.. hmm so sad.. =(
Oh and I've missed you.. and reading back all those articles i published make me say, I've changed.. a little bit. hahahah atleast, for the glory of man!


Now I appreciate the times I couldn't get myself to sleep, that's when I could visit my blog.. hahah But hey, i tried though, especially at times I get a little emotional and somehow "dramatic".. LoL (that's not the right word but i couldn't think of any more suitable description) I've got so many drafts at the office and here at home.. and ALL of them, unfinished and hanging and "forgotten"! There are those times when I'm super full of words that I couldn't write everything on my mind.. words just come out so fast.. then I get to open my notepad and write whatever is there that pops out. then not an hour after that, with just a little distraction would make me lost and then comes the "ei, I'll better finish this later.." >the attitude! LoL and that's the end of it.. Those were just my thoughts as of that moment, you know..

And usually those are the thoughts I've been avoiding to think about.. **,

But now no more..

>>now comes the new chapter of my life<<..



at 23.