If Only

"I would give up everything for one moment just to be with you;
for one moment is better than a lifetime without you.."


>angel in disguise<

"I have to tell you this and you need to hear it. I loved you since I met you, but I wouldn't allow myself to truly feel it until today. I was always thinking ahead, making decisions soaked with fear... Today, because of you... what I learned from you; every choice I made was different and my life has completely changed... and I've learned that if you do that, then you're living your life fully... it doesn't matter if you have five minutes or fifty years. Samantha if not for today, if not for you I would never have known love at all... So thank you for being the person who taught me to love... and to be love."

-Ian Wyndham, (If Only, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Paul Nicholls)

If only you can hear me I'd let you know, how I miss you so


Forgive me, I was blind to see I was a fool to ever let you go


Believe in me, I want you to know
That I have realized with no one else I'd rather be


But then I know that you have Found yourself somebody new


Hope I could find you in another place and time
I've proven it's true, I'm still in love with you


Every night, I've been dreaming about the time when you were mine
The memories, I will be keeping


Oh I was so wrong to let our chance go by..
So listen now, I never will deny that I have realized with no one else I'd rather be


But then I know that you have
Found yourself somebody new


Hope I could find you in another place and time
I've proven it's true, I'm still in love with you



If only, you can hear me I'd let you know,
oh how I miss you so



Believe in me, I want you to know
That I have realized with no one else I'd rather be



But then I know that you have
Found yourself somebody new



Hope I could find you in another place and time




I've proven it's true






I'm still in love with you..

Triggered by the Old Cam Pix

I was cleaning my laptop files when i saw a folder, an untitled folder, mixed with some other old school documents. Curious as I am what was in it, I opened the folder and found old pictures taken about more than three years ago. These were from my old camera phone, i hushed. The pictures were blurry then (hah!) and the colors are not so vivid, reminds me of my first VGA camera phone.. (how I remembered how happy i was having it!) That was the best shot that time, i could still recall. Whew, I forgot about this! The first picture was me with my hair uncomb.. I laughed, is this how i looked like before?! Oh, heavens! How I've changed.. The second picture was me and my best friend, at school. We were all smiles.. hmm.. Oh sure, taking pictures during class hours! hah! I miss those times! hmm.. this is so funny! Then comes more pictures of me and my friends and some taken with my niece and some pictures of me alone.. (vanity is me!) How could I forget this duh?! i wondered.. Oh yeah..

Then comes the next scene.
I stopped. Stared.

For a moment, my heart skipped a beat.

It was taken in the living room.. There was this guy, and his hair was longer then, winking on the picture.. and a girl, wearing a big shirt giving out a tongue on the picture.. They were both smiling, such big smiles.. And you could see it in there eyes, they were happy together. And i know, WAS so deeply inlove with each other.

"hey girl, wake up.. reality check! buzzzzz......"


oh, yeah where was i again?!..


Time has passed, so fast.. with so many changes.. We all looked different now, feel differently now.. Everything left are just memories of what it has been. And memories that will never happen again..

But why am I still on that past? Why is it still so hard for me to live in my present?!
I've been telling everyone I am ok, but am i?!
Can I atleast pretend i'm happy?! nah.. that I'd be fooling myself again..


haizt,

I wish there was some kind of time limit on emotions noh.. sort of like in school, wherein there's a bell that would ring at the beginnings and endings of every subject..

Maybe that way, i'd know when to stop feeling sad..
Perhaps that way, i'd know when to stop hoping and failing and hoping still..

and who knows that way, i could have kept my heart from being broken..


but then again, it's just a wish.. so.. munaxa =,(



gggrrr... I shouldn't have opened that folder!