Tuesday, March 4, 2014

10 Things You Should Tell your Partner for a Relationship Built to Last

1. “I miss you.”

“If conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music, making time spent together a melody that could be replayed over and over without getting stale.” – Nicholas Sparks
Telling your partner you miss them through a simple text or email will make them feel needed, wanted, and appreciated. If you’re home with the kids while your partner is at work, send them a group family photo with a message like, “We can’t wait for you to get home!”


2. “How was your day?”

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” – J.K. Rowling
Resist the temptation to go on a tirade about how terrible your day was as soon as you walk in the door. This isn’t to say you can’t rant and rave about a bad day, but doing so without consideration of your partner’s life is self-centered.


3. “Do you remember that time we ______?”

“Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.” – Keanu Reeves
Relationships have a way of losing that magical “spark” as the months and years go by. Reminding your partner of your most cherished memories together—like your first vacation together, or that one time you got busted making out in a mall elevator—will help you remember why your relationship is so special in the first place.


4. “How can I help?”

“I want to be in a relationship where you telling me you love me is just a ceremonious validation of what you already show me.” – Steve Maraboli
If you’ve ever panicked in the morning because you’re running late to work and can’t find your keys, you know there are few things more stressful than losing something at an inopportune time. Lighten your partner’s load by asking them how you can help when they appear stressed out or overburdened.


5. “What do you think?”

“When you don’t talk, there’s a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said.” – Catherine Gilbert Murdock
Your relationship shouldn’t be a dictatorship, but rather a democracy. Ask your partner how they feel about all decisions big and small, from where to visit for summer vacation, to your children’s education.


6. “You’re so gorgeous/handsome/hot.”

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia
If you don’t compliment your partner, how can you expect them to feel wanted or appreciated? Tell them all about their strong-suits by saying things like:
  • Physical – “I love it when you smile, because you have the cutest dimples.”
  • Attitude – “I love how patient/thoughtful/kind/confident you are, because that makes me feel ____________..”
  • Attire – “I can’t stop checking out your butt in those jeans” or “Hello, tiger… you look quite GQ in that suit today!" 



7. “Let’s meet in the middle.”

“Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
It’s easy to become convinced that you’re 100% right during a nasty fight, but please resist the urge to be stubborn. Thinking your partner is wrong about something isn’t an excuse to discount how they feel. Let go of your need to be right and work together as a team.


8. “I’m sorry. You’re right.”

“Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that’s the thing—you’re a couple, and couples can’t function without trust.” – Nicholas Sparks
Making a mistake is okay (within reason) as long as you’re humble enough to say you’re sorry and accept personal responsibility. Refusing to admit your mistakes, however, could turn what would have been a small squabble into an eternal dispute that destroys trust.


9. “Please” and “Thank you”

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough” – Oprah Winfrey
Tell me which one you’d rather hear from your partner:
  • Take the dog outside.
  • Hey honey, could you please take the dog outside? I’m tied up with the laundry right now, so I’d really appreciate it. Thanks!
Big difference, am I right?




10. “I love you.”

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu
No matter how long you’ve known a person, I can promise that those 3 words will never lose meaning.

Not All Relationships Are Meant To Last Forever

When people come into your life, it is hard to dissociate from the shared moments and move on. Oftentimes, we find ourselves forced to leave people whom our lives once revolved around behind. You will always carry memories of the sights, the sounds and the experiences you shared. But, sometimes people change; sometimes we move on and oftentimes, we simply grow.

As days turn into months and months into years, it is still difficult to understand how to detach yourself from the people of your past and to accept the reality that they will no longer be part of your present. People who made up such a large part of your life at one point (ex-boyfriends, old roommates, previous company officemates, friends, etc.) are not always meant to be in your life forever.

Sometimes, those people come into your life for a brief moment in time — however brief — and then, they are gone. And in a moment, the people in whom you invested turn into mere pictures stored somewhere in the back of your mind. The moments you shared meant something — and they still mean something. You are subject to an internal battle to understand how the people you once valued are no longer of importance to you in your daily life.

In a way, those people in your past became your family and you probably find yourself struggling to let them go. They gave you advice when you needed guidance. They gave you hugs when you felt alone. They gave you unique experiences that defined a stage of your life. Most of all, however, these people gave you a sense of comfort in the unfamiliar and unpredictable journey that we call life.

And during those unusual times when you return back to those people and those places, you realize that your connection to that city, to those people and to those memories still holds strong. While you may have left and may have a new life completely unlike your past, those connections do not dissipate. Just because you left a place or left people, it does not mean that those memories somehow become void. And when you return, you are reminded of the friends you made, the people you knew and the moments you shared. All of these things suddenly become fresh in your mind. It is in these instances when you’ll realize the importance each one of these people has in your life.

It is still difficult to look back, knowing that your current life does not quite leave room for everyone in your past. And while you’re not sure it will ever get easier, when you know that people you once considered to be family are continuing to live a life separate from yours, it is comforting to know that at any point, you can stop and remember the experiences you shared together.

As we grow, we realize that all people are not permanent fixtures in our lives, that they can be fleeting fixtures of happiness, love and comfort. It is a difficult concept to grasp that people we consider to be staples in our lives may not be here for us tomorrow. But, we must learn to accept the idea that whether it be a lover, a coworker or a friend, his or her place in our lives may not always be meant to last forever.

When we begin to understand that relationships are not always meant to last, we can also have a deeper appreciation for the experiences we share with people while they are in our lives. Though it may sadden you to consider the end of a relationship, you can begin to appreciate the people in your life for the sheer reason that they exist in your present. People come and go, but memories last forever.

The lessons people teach us and the hardships they help us navigate are never forgotten. These memories become permanent parts of us and continue to shape who we become. Just because a relationship does not last does not mean that it is insignificant in any way. It is not the amount of time these relationships last that is important, but instead, it is the ability to remember them.

Once we can accept the realization that relationships are fleeting, our lives will be filled with vast moments of appreciation. Appreciation for each relationship in its entirety and the uniqueness of the moments that you share together — appreciation for the present.

Leaving people behind is never easy — it never feels right to move on to the next chapter. But, as life continues onward, so do we, and just because we leave people, it does not mean we must forget the times we shared. It does not mean that all those things must be lost in some unknown abyss. All we can ask is to remember and that those whom we once loved remember us, too.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Perhaps.

MAYBE

Maybe. . .we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe . . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, oftentimes, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

Maybe . . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe . . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe . . . you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe . . . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe . . . you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

Maybe . . . you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe . . . giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe . . . you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Maybe . . . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

Maybe . . . you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

A true friend's advice.






Get over him. He’s not even worth it. He is not worth your time or your tears. Yeah you loved him, I know that. And I know you just can’t see yourself with anyone other than him, I get that. I’ve been there. But why should you spend all your time sitting at home, bawling your eyes out and wondering where he is and who he is with. Do you honestly think he is thinking about you? No. Sure it hurts, the fact that he is out there falling in and out of love with other girls. Yeah you’re going to see him with one of his new girlfriends. Prepare yourself, because straight up; it’s gonna hurt. He will hold her a little closer and squeeze her hand a little tighter just because he knows you’re watching. He knows it’s killing you; and that’s why he will do it. Don’t let him get to you because that, well that’s exactly what he wants. Don’t give him what he wants. He doesn’t even deserve it. So what if he doesn’t talk to you? Do you honestly wanna be friends with an asshole like him anyway? Thing is, I know you still do. But give it time. Because all he would do is talk about his new girlfriend and just try and make you jealous, and really. Do you want to hear that? No. So screw him and his girlfriend. He will be sorry, trust me. When he finally sees you with some other guy who’s not him. With that huge grin on your face and your boyfriend holding you close, he will realize how happy you are now. And how happy your boyfriend is because he has you; the girl of his dreams. He will realize the huge mistake he made when he let you go, when he decided to choose her over you, when he decided he just did not love you the same. Trust me, he will be sorry. So don’t go on spending your nights waiting for that one phone call you know you’ll never get. Or that IM you know he will never send you simply because he likes to ignore you. He likes to pretend he doesn’t see you online, and he does it out of spite just because he knows it’s killing you. When he walks past you in the hallways, he is gonna look past you, but you need to know he only does that because he knows somewhere inside you, it will hurt. I’m not gonna lie to you. It will hurt. It will hurt a lot. But it will hurt even more when you see her name and how much he loves her in his profile. It’s all going to hurt. Knowing you’re not the girl that’s making him smile. Knowing you’re not the first person he thinks of when he wakes up and the last before he goes to sleep. Knowing you’re not the face on his wallpaper. Knowing you won’t be spending every single moment possible with him. Knowing there’s not going to be anymore late night phone calls arguing about who loves who the most. And you know what? Today, tomorrow, next week, or maybe months from now; your phone will go off with a text message, you will instantly grab your phone hoping it’s him saying he wants to give your relationship another shot. But trust me; he’s got too much pride. Even if he wanted to get back together with you, he wouldn’t tell you. You’re soon going to realize he doesn’t care about you anymore and he won’t be the first person you think of calling when you’re upset. He won’t be the one to put that smile back on your face. And yeah it’s going to hurt; its going to hurt a lot. But you know what you’re going to do? You’re going to hold your head up. You’re going to show him you’re better off without him and you don’t need him in your life. You’re going to prove to him that he made the biggest mistake of his life by letting you go and that you never really needed him anyway.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

My Silver Year


SILVER Birthday Wish?


I already got My Love and My Happiness. What else do I need? It’s more than enough for me.



What more can a mere girl ask for than to be the DAUGHTER of world's best parents, a WIFE to a man who does nothing but make her feel the most beautiful everyday and a MOTHER of a heaven's angel..


Twenty fifth


The last 25 years of my life has not been good all the time. It was so far from perfection. It has more downs than ups, should say. It was always struggle within my own self. To choose what makes me happy regardless if it was right, wrong or best for everyone. But it was beautiful. So beautiful I could not dare change a single day.


It was so long ago that I used to write to share my stories of pain and heartbreak. To pour out the heavy cross am carrying. Looking back at all the dramas and OA stories, is like looking at myself from afar, proud that it made me strong, confident and mature enough to see life as a present, a gift. There are even some stories that, honestly, reading them again makes me laugh out loud and tap my shoulder,

“Congrats, you survived sweetie.”


Now, I write to share my stories of loving, both filled with trials and triumph and living a life full laughters and tears…



This is where a new chapter begins @25.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Di Lang Ikaw - Juris

Friday, August 7, 2009

The One That Got Away

**i saw this blog from facebook.. a friend posted it.
after reading this, a tear fell.

I don't know why a tear..
what's with the article? nah.. plain text.. it's nice though..
and it's reality. it's struck me deep.





Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal


In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flash point of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder,what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone,

"Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."